When I was 8 my parents started looking into foster care and the possibility of adopting. I don't remember much about the process, just lots of paperwork and strangers coming over to our house to make sure it was livable. I'm sure they asked Stess and I questions about our parents to make sure we weren't being abused, but for the most part nothing really changed until I was 9 when we went to pick up this kid, a 5 year old boy who's father had abused him. His name was Troy.
Troy was with us for a year and a half before he went back to his dad. We had some great memories, along with the inevitable sibling moments :) The three of us got along great, for the most part. Stess was a little closer to him than I was, partly because of age and partly because they had much more in common, preferring sports to books.
Troy went back to his dad for about 6 months before there was more abuse. I still remember Mom picking me up from school and asking what I would think if Troy came back. Of course I was fine with that and she told me that Dad was on his way to pick him up. We were told not to ask him anything about what had happened, but being the young kids we were, that was the first thing we asked. Troy apparently came "home" with dad, put down his backpack, said, "hi mom. hi dad. where are the girls? can I go play?" before he ran across the street to play with the neighbors...
All told, Troy was with us for about 3 years and left when he was 9. There were a few foster homes where we still had contact with him, but at some point we lost touch. Mom remembers trying to find him but having Social Services refuse to give out any information.
There have been a few times where our friends have mentioned seeing him, but we've never been able to follow up on that. With the invention of Facebook and MySpace, I've tried to find him, but still with no luck.
Well, all that changed this summer, when my mom's Aunt, who was a foster parent of Troy's as well, said that Troy had come to the house where he'd lived with them! Stess and I couldn't really believe it. Apparently he's a manager at a restaurant in Portland and was asked to visit the one in Albany. On his way he decided to try and find their family. Well, mom's Aunt told him that they were going to be getting together with the family the day after Christmas and he was welcome to come. He said he'd be there.
All this we heard, but honestly, I didn't want to get my hopes up. I knew that I MIGHT see Troy this past Saturday, but...
Well, he came! I didn't believe it until someone mentioned him calling their cell, lost and wanting directions! Stess and I both looked at each other with a bit of disbelief and admitted that neither of us had really held out hope.
When he showed up, Stess and I were outside and it wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought it might be. In fact, it was great. We both went up and gave him huge hugs and it was like we really were back together with our brother.
It's funny how things that I take for granted either have been forgotten by him or are vague memories. We were staying at my Dad's family's home, so Troy got to reconnect with both sides of the family. We walked in and my Aunt Susanne gave him a big hug and my Uncle Phil shook his hand. Uncle Tim was in Italy the entire time Troy was with us, so they had never met. I about cried when my dad gave him a hug. When we went out to see Mom's side of the family Troy admitted to not realizing that we were related to them. He said when asked if he could make it or not that he wasn't sure. When he was told that we, Mom, Dad, Stess and I, were going to be there, he said he'd quit work if he had to.
It was a fantastic day! After Mom's family took off, Troy stayed for the evening with Dad's side of the family. We all had dinner together and got to spend some more time with him.
No, his life hasn't been great. He's made some bad choices, but more recently said he's trying to make better ones. Dad, Stess, Troy and my Uncle went on a bike ride and Troy got soaked so ended up wearing Dad's clothes. It was fitting.
He's living in Portland, and now that we have his number, we're not going to let him go. Stess and I both had a terrible time sleeping last night as we kept thinking about him. I got a call from him this afternoon, and it's still weird to know that I'm talking with my brother on the other line :)
To top all this off, Troy became a Christian when he was with us but I don't think he's had much of a chance to grow in his faith at all. He mentioned church a few times and Stess and I have invited him to join us at our Home group. He's planning on coming this week! And, he gets New Years day off, so I think we're planning on spending some time together...
So, my Christmas was Amazing!!! Not because I had the best gifts, though they were pretty nice ;) and not because I had a three day weekend, though I did, but because after fifteen years, I got to see my brother again!
Troy was with us for a year and a half before he went back to his dad. We had some great memories, along with the inevitable sibling moments :) The three of us got along great, for the most part. Stess was a little closer to him than I was, partly because of age and partly because they had much more in common, preferring sports to books.
Troy went back to his dad for about 6 months before there was more abuse. I still remember Mom picking me up from school and asking what I would think if Troy came back. Of course I was fine with that and she told me that Dad was on his way to pick him up. We were told not to ask him anything about what had happened, but being the young kids we were, that was the first thing we asked. Troy apparently came "home" with dad, put down his backpack, said, "hi mom. hi dad. where are the girls? can I go play?" before he ran across the street to play with the neighbors...
All told, Troy was with us for about 3 years and left when he was 9. There were a few foster homes where we still had contact with him, but at some point we lost touch. Mom remembers trying to find him but having Social Services refuse to give out any information.
There have been a few times where our friends have mentioned seeing him, but we've never been able to follow up on that. With the invention of Facebook and MySpace, I've tried to find him, but still with no luck.
Well, all that changed this summer, when my mom's Aunt, who was a foster parent of Troy's as well, said that Troy had come to the house where he'd lived with them! Stess and I couldn't really believe it. Apparently he's a manager at a restaurant in Portland and was asked to visit the one in Albany. On his way he decided to try and find their family. Well, mom's Aunt told him that they were going to be getting together with the family the day after Christmas and he was welcome to come. He said he'd be there.
All this we heard, but honestly, I didn't want to get my hopes up. I knew that I MIGHT see Troy this past Saturday, but...
Well, he came! I didn't believe it until someone mentioned him calling their cell, lost and wanting directions! Stess and I both looked at each other with a bit of disbelief and admitted that neither of us had really held out hope.
When he showed up, Stess and I were outside and it wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought it might be. In fact, it was great. We both went up and gave him huge hugs and it was like we really were back together with our brother.
It's funny how things that I take for granted either have been forgotten by him or are vague memories. We were staying at my Dad's family's home, so Troy got to reconnect with both sides of the family. We walked in and my Aunt Susanne gave him a big hug and my Uncle Phil shook his hand. Uncle Tim was in Italy the entire time Troy was with us, so they had never met. I about cried when my dad gave him a hug. When we went out to see Mom's side of the family Troy admitted to not realizing that we were related to them. He said when asked if he could make it or not that he wasn't sure. When he was told that we, Mom, Dad, Stess and I, were going to be there, he said he'd quit work if he had to.
It was a fantastic day! After Mom's family took off, Troy stayed for the evening with Dad's side of the family. We all had dinner together and got to spend some more time with him.
No, his life hasn't been great. He's made some bad choices, but more recently said he's trying to make better ones. Dad, Stess, Troy and my Uncle went on a bike ride and Troy got soaked so ended up wearing Dad's clothes. It was fitting.
He's living in Portland, and now that we have his number, we're not going to let him go. Stess and I both had a terrible time sleeping last night as we kept thinking about him. I got a call from him this afternoon, and it's still weird to know that I'm talking with my brother on the other line :)
To top all this off, Troy became a Christian when he was with us but I don't think he's had much of a chance to grow in his faith at all. He mentioned church a few times and Stess and I have invited him to join us at our Home group. He's planning on coming this week! And, he gets New Years day off, so I think we're planning on spending some time together...
So, my Christmas was Amazing!!! Not because I had the best gifts, though they were pretty nice ;) and not because I had a three day weekend, though I did, but because after fifteen years, I got to see my brother again!
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